An Internal Struggle... About Books

I have this checklist thing that I do every night when I lay down to go to bed.

For usually about half an hour, I run through my entire day in my head. From the time I headed out the door to go to Jazz Band to the homework that I just got finished with (probably at a later time than is acceptable). After I run through my day, I ask myself a series of questions that inadvertently make my brain spring off into totally different directions.

The first question I ask is: Did I finish all of my homework? I run through my school day again and try to remember what we did in class and what I've done for homework. I like to consider myself an organized person. But I'm also quite paranoid and a chronic worrier. So even if I KNOW I've gotten all of my assignments done, I still worry that I missed something. One of my greatest fears is waking up one morning and realizing that I forgot to do an assignment. Pretty stressful. As I said earlier, these questions and doubts make my mind ask other questions: Do we have a test tomorrow? Oh no, we have a test, what if I'm not ready for it? When is the deadline for that project?

But after a while, it's not enough that I worry about school. I have to worry about everything else in my life. And by that I mean insignificant things that I could probably go for many years without worrying about.

My most recent string of worry stemmed from books. It went down kinda like this:

"I have to finish Lord of the Rings. Soon. I'm so close, just need to read a little more. When will I have time to finish it? Will I finish it? Oh no, I've started reading Sherlock Holmes too. I'm terrified of reading two books at once, what if I get things all jumbled up and suddenly Sherlock's taking a case from Frodo? I have too many freakin' books. Will I even be able to finish them before I graduate? I'm halfway done with the Language Wars, but after that I have to read that other book from Anderson, will I have time? Oh yay, my Bioterrorism book came in the mail today. Now I have ANOTHER book to read. ... Speaking of Sherlock, I wonder when the third season will come out? Oh, what if BBC decides to cut the show's funding?! No, that's ridiculous, it's a really popular show... But so was Firefly! GAH! IT COULD HAPPEN!"

From there I'm pretty sure it was an internal worry rant about how good shows are always cancelled early. But that's a subject for another day I suppose.