Brain vs. Stomach (The Battle of Guilt)

Self-control and I have had quite a few fist-fights in the past seventeen years.

Its been somewhat of a constant battle, one that I like to think I've gained some ground on. Especially late this summer, when I decided to change my eating habits to accommodate for a healthier lifestyle. I've been trying to stay on a constant routine of eating better and not over-indulging. (though honestly, the self-control thing applies to more than just food)  But sometimes my silly stomach gets in the way of my struggling brain and convinces it that making stupid over-indulgence decisions WON'T hinder me in the near future.

Studies show that ten out of ten times your stomach tries to convince your brain to do something it doesn't want to do, it's a bad idea.

At times I try and justify my over-indulgences, thinking things like, "Nah, it'll be fine. It's really not that much." or "Nah. It's only for one day, after all." But then I end up doing it and banging my head against a hard surface wondering why I did it. More often than not these days, my brain is able to keep control and make good decisions. Decisions that I may pout about when I make them but be happy about later. And that's the thing with over-indulging... I feel extremely guilty after I do it.

In addition to (usually) feeling sick, my conscience rips me a new one. I mentally berate myself for having no self-control and promise that next time the opportunity comes, I won't seize it. I think that there's probably more to it than that though.

I've been coming to the slow and kind of freaky realization that after I over-indulge, my brain goes into kind of a "bio hazard" mode and forbids anything else that I could possibly over-indulge on to enter my system. Aka, I convince myself that I'm not hungry for, more often than not, the rest of the day. And don't worry! It's not like I'm anorexic or anything! I just thing that I get really guilty when I "cheat", and because of that I'm literally not hungry for the rest of the day. I don't think I'm starving myself, though it is a little scary that it's possible for your brain to convince your stomach of things that aren't really happening...

So yeah. Self-control. The fights have certainly gotten less gruesome for me. When they happen now, it's in small bouts. It's not often. The challenge, though, is making it so that the fights never happen.

That will take a little more practice.